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Thursday, October 31, 2013

the pleasure of being alone

I have a soft point for being alone, I kind of have a love and hate relationship with be with myself. I love having a caring and special mate in my life and I am grateful for that, and even tough I love spending time alone, eating directly from the pan, play soft and sad music, write, light my salt lights.. this makes me happy, missing your sweet half, it is a bittersweet feeling, like pain and pleasure together..

But I am sure that when I will turn down the volume, clean the pan and turn of the lights I will miss him to death, hoping that tomorrow arrives very fast! Luckily enough work meeting out of town are rare!

Good night!

Get the mood by listening: such grate heights by Iron and wine

Wednesday, October 30, 2013


I have reached a point in my life where I am re-writing, re-scheduling, editing my life goals, my life purpose, my inspirations and beliefs system.
I used to do maps about what I wanted about my life, I wrote what was that I really wanted in this lifetime it was all a little fuzzy and uncertain, but now I can see clearly things... I know what I want, I have a dream and I will do everything within my power to accomplish it. 
I am realizing now that I have missed the point my whole life, taking roads that were not made for me, and feeling guilty for not really wanting to take them. But I thought that wanting to do take a path different from the one others wanted for me or that I decided was good and acceptable (auto-caging myself) was a BAD THING, I thought I was a bad person or a lunatic to feeling I was meant do different things, to BE DIFFERENT. 
I was so blind and so deep in my castle of glass that I did not know what I wanted in my life, nor who I was. 
So now that I can see more clearly I think I am going to edit my life goals in all area but especially in CAREER, writing a new career path, and feeling that I CAN DO IT, YES, I CAN DO THIS!

Want to enter in the mood? listen to: up against the wall by Peter Bjorn and john

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

shades... of Gray

I am reading Fifty shades of Gray E. L. James, I decided to get it because it was like a fenomena and because I discovered that the author was a Twilight fun and she was writing fanfiction of the spirkling vampires books under the name of icequen, and I really liked the yellow eyes vamp books
I am at chapter 21 now, it is clear that the author got her inspirations for characters and some scenes from the well known Stephanie Mayer saga. 
Seems to me that Fifty shades of Gray is the (soft, until now) porn version of Twilight without vamps in it. Kidding. There are lot of similarity between Isabella - bella - swan and Anastasia - ana - Steel and Control Freak Edward and Control Freak Christian Gray. 
I am looking forward to read some Twilight fun fiction written by James -  Snowqueen's Icedragon
From my personal point of view, I don't think I would like to give my self to a dark and twisted breath taking billionare that get pleasure in punishing me, in exchange of laptops, cars and clothes, that feel to me like luxury hooker. It is true that Anastasia totally fell for him, and it is also obvious that he is fond of her but still, he is a perv that wants to punish me.. 
By the way, now that they are making the movie, Jax of Sons of Anarchy has Crhistian Gray aka Sir in my mind
Did you read the book and liked it?

Monday, October 28, 2013


As anybody else I don't like to have cold or influenza.. I hate when you have that little sore throat and you  find difficult to concentrate or to think straight. But I have found the solution, that works, most of the times.

You want to know it right? 

I have found the cure, an homeopathic cure,  that works wanders for me and not only I discovered, also for my work mate MJ. 
Well I don't know how homeopathy can work, because diluting a thing a lot of times until  little or basically nothing of the original substance is left on the remedy makes no "scientifically sense" to me. I did not believe it, but out of desperation I tried Nelson Coldenza at first sign of a cold, and out of 4 colds 3 resolved in a day. The fourth the cold was strong but in three days I was ok, and able to work and do all my stuff. Coldenza basically is 6c homeopathic potency of Gelsemium sempervirens, but I think that you can have Gelsemium 6c of others brand too.  
So I am totally a fan of homeopathy now =). Before last w.e. my colleague MJ started having a cold so I borrowed her my remedies and even her was skeptic but the next day was ok, so I thought to give this thing some credit. 

Please remember that I am not a doctor nor a practitioner so before taking anything should be better asking your doctor or homeopath. I don't sponsor any pharma company, but if something it is good I'll speak about it!

You have something that works wanders for cold? than share it with me: comment!

Have a nice evening

Friday, October 25, 2013

Time flies

"Time flies. Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go. Time."
Grey's Anatomy: time has come today episode

Seems to me that today I have lost my inspiration to write blog posts, luckily enough my book characters are still invading my mind and driving me insane, that's good, it means that I will write more pages.

It is the second time I started this blog post, the first title was "things we want, things we are" but I realized that now, the only think I would like is MORE TIME, more time to do what I like:

= write my blog
+ write my book
+ exercise 
+ meditate
+ relax
+ read new books (like, "fifty shades of gray" Am I the only one who did not read it?)
+ cook 
+ time for my self
+ time to paint
+ time to get shopping for paint
+ time to play piano and guitar

don't get me wrong, it is not that I don't have of time to do that, I have (maybe expect for piano and guitar), but it seems that because I WANT to do it all I must do all that with hurry and it like I do that on automatic pilot.. 
Maybe time is just a mental illusion, and I just have to slow and enjoy what I am currently doing instead of thinking of the next task I have to do or I want to do. 
I am lucky, I just need to enjoy more my life.. =)

All I want for my future is looking back and have not regrets on what I have done with the time of my life.


You can enter in the mood of this post with: Someone like you: Adele 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

New adventure

Hi guys!
Yesterday night I was reading one of my fav novels and the story was sad, the boy left the poor girl to her sake and I was feeling sad too, I got really sad reading the book (yes sad, sad, saaaaad). I think that just for giving strong feelings it was a good book. By the way my boyfriend asked me "why are you looking sad?"  I answered that even if I love my life I would like some magic, mystery and meet some supernatural being, even tough I know that such tings does not exist in reality. Of course I am aware that lots of times reality goes beyond fantasy, but come on, you will never meet a vampire (I mean a real one, that burns in the sun), or a fairy or, I don't know, Shreck! And so he said to me: "then create it! you are full of fantasy, most of the time it seems you seem to live on Mars, so write this damn book! Maybe you can also earn money from it."
At first I was like, yeah right, me? All the books that I love has already been written or movies have been made, and beautiful intriguing characters taken, you know, Vampires (my fav, especially Charlaine Harris), Fairies, Witches, Magicians, oder worlds, Star wars... So I got to sleep and forgot about it.. But this morning my mind took over and I started to fantasize about charterers, location, plot.. It all came super natural (and supernatural, sorry this one was so tempting) to me that I almost fell in love with my she charterer! So I started to write this morning and I am feeling happy because i am loving it! Worst case scenario I would have had some great time for my self.
If you are wandering and a lil worried too, don't I will write it in my own language.. I am not that good in English to write a book, maybe neither to write a blog ;)
Of course and like always I will keep you updated!

You can read me with this song: starting over: feat Ben Bridwell

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

hint on how life/the universe/whatever you want to callit works

I suffer from  bruxism ( a condition where you clench your jaw or grind your teeth at night, waking up with neck pain tooth ache, head ache or a combination) the causes can vary from case to case from problems in closing your mouth properly to repressed emotions and parasites in your belly. I was checked, I had not problems in my mouth nor the parasites, so it must be a thing with my emotions or my relationship to stress. I actually don't feel particularly stressed out: in this site--> Core Energetics, about core energetics are explained what the causes could be and how to deal with it. I think it can give a good explanation of the condition and some info as a start.
In this period I am waking up with my mouth clenched and my neck muscles very tense, and a terrible headache that fade in the mid of the morning and get worst at about six .
So yesterday I was searching for  someone who cured himself from bruxism so that I can get some good hint and do something more than using my bite. Meanwhile I was reading a beautiful post of one of my fav blog, Sarah Wilson blog, in which she was talking self hypnosis (you can read here) and decided to go to Amazon to get one good book about the subject and in my lunch time I bought this one (I will post my review on it). Because I had not a wifi connection and no mobile line I totally forgot about it. This morning I suddenly realized that I had a whole new book to read and no time because I had to go to work so I quickly  red the summary and there it was a self hypnoses script on how to stop grinding your teeth.
This is a good case of serendipity, I was not looking for heal of bruxism but enjoy myself on a new knowledge and I found one possible answer..
BTW I will keep you updated if self hypnosis is yay or nay for me

listening: band of horses, Factory

Monday, October 21, 2013

feelings about purpose in life...

you know that feeling right? that feeling in the middle of your stomach, that feeling that is lettin' you know that something is wrong with your life. If it could speak the words would be: "this is not what I want... what is the purpose of my life anyway? You live most of you life in front of a pc screen and then? It is all over? It cannot be just like that". 
Sometimes I feel like that.. Feeling that you can and want more from your life.
But usually you repress that feeling finding excuses such as: "life works this way, is not what everybody is supposed to do? You cannot have everything... yeah right.. life works this way" and so on.
I am today in this kind of mood, well I choose this work, I wanted it and I got it. And I am grateful for this. The fact is that is job has good promises for the future, brings food to the table, allows me to live in a beautiful city and home and most important I can live with my boyfriend (thing that I wanted for all last year). 
The fact is that I somehow feel that my life has no purpose, or better I think I could do something different with my life beyond wake up, exercise,  get dress (appropriately for work), go to work, do repetitive stuff, lunch,  work, do repetitive stuff, get home, find a parking lot, make dinner, dinner, meditate, sleep. Someone, like my lovely soul mate would say "honey this is the thing we call have a work LIFE" ok, for someone this could be ok, but come on!! Why some people work like three day a week get tons of money, work on thing that they really loooove and have tons of fun?
Don get me wrong, I kind of love my life. I am healthy, somehow beautiful, have a job (not a small thing in the country I live), have a lovely boyfriend that reads me Twilight books before bed (and no I am not 15 actually I am 28 if you are wondering), a nice house, some savings and money to pay the rent. You see, when I read this last line I feel a little guilty too, because I want more.. and I think "should I wanting more than this? Am I not lucky enough to have all this stuff? Maybe I just need to repress that feeling and be happy with what I want, my life could be a lot worst… Something could be go very wrong if I want more, somehow life will punish me to be greedy"…BUT I have read enough books and have already felt the feeling of fulfillment that you have waking up in the morning while doing something that you love to just give up to my dreams, I know that everyone deserve to be happy and I have seen it happen so… I WILL KEEP BELIEVE, I will keep to be grateful about my life and to dream big, but most important to think at WHAT KIND OF DREAM I WANT TO ACHIEVE.

Friday, October 18, 2013


Italian Version,
Cerco sempre di trovare nuovi modi per usare il cibo come mezzo di conforto senza danneggiare la mia salute o diventare grassa. Oggi la mia collega MJ ha condiviso con me una ricetta tipica del sud Italia che è gustosa, facile e veloce da fare. Il pasto perfetto da portare in ufficio. L'unico contro è che mescola proteine e carboidrati (contro ovviamente se per te è un problema). Non è paleo, ma è Geno Type/ hunter/ cacciatore friendly.

4 uova
1 tazza di riso (io adoro il basmati)
sale qb
1/4 di tazza di parmigiano o pecorino
1 cucchiaino di ghee o olio d'oliva
Cuocete il riso prima di tutto, mentre sbattete le uova, quando il riso è prondo mixatelo con le uova, il parmigiano e il sale.
Scaldate una padella con il ghee o l'olio d'oliva e mettete dentro la mistura, cuocete 2-3 minuti per lato.
Il risultato finale dovrebbe essere simile a quello di una torta che si può tagliare a fette.
Buona Giornata!

PS: Io sono intollerante al lattosio e il parmigiano va bene anche se non si riesce a digerire i latticini, ed è ricco di calcio (ovviamente chi è allergico credo dovrebbe proprio evitarlo)


English Version
I am always searching new ways of food comforting myself without get fat or damage my health, and today my colleague MJ shared a southern Italy recipe that it is tasty, easy and quick to do, the perfect type of meal you would bring to the office. The only cons is that it mix together proteins and carbs (if this matter to you). Not Paleo but Hunter friendly (Genotype diet)

4 whole eggs
1 small cup of rice (I love basmati rice)
¼ cup of Parmesan or Percorino Cheese (if you don't have it do it with a normal cheese not watery like mozzarella or ricotta)
1 tea spoon of ghee or olive oil
How to do it:
Boil the rice first, while mixing the eggs. After that the rice is ready mix the rice, eggs, parmesan and add some salt.
Hot a pan with ghee (or olive oil) and put the mix in it. Cook for 5 minutes (2 minutes each side).
That's it!
The end result must be like a cake that you can cut in slices.
Have a nice day!

Ps: I am lactose intolerant, and parmesan cheese is really good for you even if you can't digest foods containing lactose, and it is reach of calcium. (Of course if you are allergic to milk I would totally avoid it!)


Thursday, October 17, 2013

Presentations /Presentazioni

Italian Version
Sono Tay e ho deciso di cominciare un blog perchè voglio condividere con voi il mio viaggio volto a migliorare la mia vita. Amo leggere, trovare nuovi modi per espandere la mia visione della vita e ovviamente di crescere in ogni area della mia vita.
Non sono un dottore, una psicologa o un coach. Sono una ragazza come tante altre che cerca di migliorare la qualità della propria vita, e di capire com'è veramente la vita, così come la conosciamo. Non darò consigli su come dovete vivere la vostra vita, non cercherò di convincervi di niente, condividerò solo cosa funziona per me e cosa no.
Così, condividerò con voi le tecniche e la conoscenza che troverò lungo il mio percorso, raccontandovi quello che ha funzionato meglio per me!

P.s. amo scrivere in Inglese, ma finchè non deciderò quale lingua usare per questo blog continuerò due versioni!

Entra nel mood: forever young (Sons of Anarchy Soundtrack) 

English Version
Hi there!
I am Tay, and I decided to start this blog because I want to share with you guys my journey to improve my life. I love to read, to find new ways to expand my vision of life and to grow of course in every area of my life.
I am not a doctor, a psychologist or a coach, I am just a regular girl trying  to improve the quality of her  life  and to get what is real about life as we know it.  I will not give you advice on how you should live your life,  I won't try to convince you about anything, I will just share what worked for me and what did not.
So I will share with you guys the techniques and knowledge that I will acquire in my journey telling you what worked best for me. 

P.s.: sorry for my English! I hope that it will get better in time =)

If you want to enter in the mood you can read this post with this song: forever young (Sons of Anarchy Soundtrack)