Coaching my self: what I want in a new job

I went to a coach once.. I was on the bottom of my life.. I was miserable.. She helped me a great deal. I am grateful for her... She gave me a lot of good tools. I am not ready to share this, but I was suffering a big deal of pressure from my family and I carried a lot of anxiety. She helped me to overcome my situation and to solve things by my self. Independently.

So I am going to coach my self now.. about founding a new job.

they say that to get the perfect result you have to know what you want..

What I want in a JOB?

• near home, easy to arrive   
• well payed: > 1,000 Euros Net 
• good job, good people
• no more that 8hr in a work week

Ok..

they say that in order to have what you want you must believe that is doable

Is this doable?

I believe that is doable because I already got this EVERYTIME...Every time I had a job it more or less had this requirement.. BUT

I think that good jobs are always demanding...

so I think that I would like a good job that inspires me but I don't want it to be too demanding, too far away... and I am thinking that I am too choosy and because of this I will have or a good job with ridiculous time amount of work or a near home, life friendly mundane job where my abilities are underemployed...

they say that your reality mirrors your beliefs...

so I want to change this last belief in "It is totally possible to find a time friendly-nearhome-well payed - amazing job!" 

shades... of Gray

I am reading Fifty shades of Gray E. L. James, I decided to get it because it was like a fenomena and because I discovered that the author was a Twilight fun and she was writing fanfiction of the spirkling vampires books under the name of icequen, and I really liked the yellow eyes vamp books

I am at chapter 21 now, it is clear that the author got her inspirations for characters and some scenes from the well known Stephanie Mayer saga. 

Seems to me that Fifty shades of Gray is the (soft, until now) porn version of Twilight without vamps in it. Kidding. There are lot of similarity between Isabella - bella - swan and Anastasia - ana - Steel and Control Freak Edward and Control Freak Christian Gray. 

I am looking forward to read some Twilight fun fiction written by James -  Snowqueen's Icedragon

From my personal point of view, I don't think I would like to give my self to a dark and twisted breath taking billionare that get pleasure in punishing me, in exchange of laptops, cars and clothes, that feel to me like luxury hooker. It is true that Anastasia totally fell for him, and it is also obvious that he is fond of her but still, he is a perv that wants to punish me.. 

By the way, now that they are making the movie, Jax of Sons of Anarchy has Crhistian Gray aka Sir in my mind

Did you read the book and liked it?

Time flies

"Time flies. Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go. Time."

Grey's Anatomy: time has come today episode

Seems to me that today I have lost my inspiration to write blog posts, luckily enough my book characters are still invading my mind and driving me insane, that's good, it means that I will write more pages.

It is the second time I started this blog post, the first title was "things we want, things we are" but I realized that now, the only think I would like is MORE TIME, more time to do what I like:

= write my blog

+ write my book

+ exercise 

+ meditate

+ relax

+ read new books (like, "fifty shades of gray" Am I the only one who did not read it?)

+ cook 

+ time for my self

+ time to paint

+ time to get shopping for paint

+ time to play piano and guitar

don't get me wrong, it is not that I don't have of time to do that, I have (maybe expect for piano and guitar), but it seems that because I WANT to do it all I must do all that with hurry and it like I do that on automatic pilot.. 

Maybe time is just a mental illusion, and I just have to slow and enjoy what I am currently doing instead of thinking of the next task I have to do or I want to do. 

I am lucky, I just need to enjoy more my life.. =)

All I want for my future is looking back and have not regrets on what I have done with the time of my life.

Tay

You can enter in the mood of this post with: Someone like you: Adele 

feelings about purpose in life...

you know that feeling right? that feeling in the middle of your stomach, that feeling that is lettin' you know that something is wrong with your life. If it could speak the words would be: "this is not what I want... what is the purpose of my life anyway? You live most of you life in front of a pc screen and then? It is all over? It cannot be just like that". 

Sometimes I feel like that.. Feeling that you can and want more from your life.

But usually you repress that feeling finding excuses such as: "life works this way, is not what everybody is supposed to do? You cannot have everything... yeah right.. life works this way" and so on.

I am today in this kind of mood, well I choose this work, I wanted it and I got it. And I am grateful for this. The fact is that is job has good promises for the future, brings food to the table, allows me to live in a beautiful city and home and most important I can live with my boyfriend (thing that I wanted for all last year). 

The fact is that I somehow feel that my life has no purpose, or better I think I could do something different with my life beyond wake up, exercise,  get dress (appropriately for work), go to work, do repetitive stuff, lunch,  work, do repetitive stuff, get home, find a parking lot, make dinner, dinner, meditate, sleep. Someone, like my lovely soul mate would say "honey this is the thing we call have a work LIFE" ok, for someone this could be ok, but come on!! Why some people work like three day a week get tons of money, work on thing that they really loooove and have tons of fun?

Don get me wrong, I kind of love my life. I am healthy, somehow beautiful, have a job (not a small thing in the country I live), have a lovely boyfriend that reads me Twilight books before bed (and no I am not 15 actually I am 28 if you are wondering), a nice house, some savings and money to pay the rent. You see, when I read this last line I feel a little guilty too, because I want more.. and I think "should I wanting more than this? Am I not lucky enough to have all this stuff? Maybe I just need to repress that feeling and be happy with what I want, my life could be a lot worst… Something could be go very wrong if I want more, somehow life will punish me to be greedy"…BUT I have read enough books and have already felt the feeling of fulfillment that you have waking up in the morning while doing something that you love to just give up to my dreams, I know that everyone deserve to be happy and I have seen it happen so… I WILL KEEP BELIEVE, I will keep to be grateful about my life and to dream big, but most important to think at WHAT KIND OF DREAM I WANT TO ACHIEVE.